This week’s parsha teaches how serious an offense it is to
publicly shame someone through speech, even when it is done unintentionally. We
can learn much about how severe a crime is by understanding the reasons for its
punishment, as the Torah lays out the rules for behaviour and the punishments
that follow from breaking the rules.
Miriam spoke badly about Moshe
privately to Aaron, and a Midrash explains that Miriam complained to Aaron that
Moshe was too busy adjudicating amongst the people to spend time with his wife.
Though Miriam was voicing a well-intentioned concern, she should have spoken
directly to Moshe rather than speak about him to a third party. She should have
spoken according to my ESP rule: concerns must be shared Expeditious,
Specifically, and be Personally addressed.
Miriam was punished with leprosy
from God for her words. Usually a Biblical punishment is middah k’neged middah,
roughly translated as “corresponding to the action.” Aaron’s sons were killed
by the very thing they tainted, fire. Moshe was punished for hitting the rock
for water by not being allowed to cross the Jordan
into Israel.
The spies’ disparaging report about the land
of Canaan caused a prolonged
sojourn for Bene Israel
in the desert.
So why did Miriam get a skin
disease for speaking about her brother behind his back?
Lashon Hara (bad language) is not
only an assault of words, but also a violation of another’s perception. The
root of this offense is the possibility that you may cause someone to perceive
something differently, in a biased and negative way, about another. Leprosy,
then, is an apt punishment for gossip and slander.
Just as gossip can embarrass and
disgrace a person, leprosy (tzaraas) is a kind of public shaming in return.
This incident with Miriam is often
used as the paradigm example of Lashon Hara. In the prayer liturgy, it is
included, “Remember what happened to Miriam.” It teaches us that hurtful speech
does not have to be falsehoods about someone, or faultfinding, or incriminating
information. It can also be masked in “good intentions,” like a concern,
non-verbal communication, or seemingly innocuous information about another. We
have to be exceedingly careful about what we say about others, lest those words
have unpredictable, or harmful effects.
The story here helps us understand
that talking about others, regardless of how pure the motivation, can colour
another’s perception of their fellow, sometimes for the worse.
